ok then

just got an email from Susan.

"ok read the whole script and enjoyed it plenty"

went on to say that I write the way people talk and all these great things about how she liked it. SHE LIKED IT!!!!!!

I am in a state of shock right now.

next!

I mailed the script to Susan this morning. I also emailed a friend, Dan, to see if he is able to help me turn lead sheets and mp3s into actual sheet music for the book.

The script won't get to Susan until probably Thursday, maybe Friday. I don't expect a response from Dan right away... So now, I wait.

I've spent the past ten days scrambling.

Print it out, hold a reading, change it, change it again, and again, and again... print it, find formatting errors, reprint it, bind it, read it, TRY to write a personal note to Susan which is WAY hard when you're trying to be eloquent and concise, email, email again... all while working full-time and entertaining my nieces and nephew who are in town for the first time in four years with my sister and brother in-law... Oddly enough, I am not tired. I am wound up and wish that it was already Thursday or Friday or next week - or the concert on August 6th, so I could see Susan's face when she says "I loved it" or "I hated it" or whatever.

Maybe I should go for a run... okay a walk.

So...

I held a table read today. There are five females and four male characters, the table read cast consisted of me, Kelly, Siobhan, and Dan. That's right, three women and one men.

And oddly enough - it didn't suck!

I came home, with loads of edits to do... songs to cut, lines to move, LOTS AND LOTS OF FORMATTING!

But it only took a few minutes to do. So now it is final. As final as I can get it right now. Now all I need to do is convert music lead sheets to sheet music and put them into the book. Yeah - not hard at all... HA!

But, I will submit it now to the local theatres because that way, they can tell me if they will do it and have plenty of time to plan ahead for it.

Mailing it out to Susan this week!

I swear...

there are no words to describe this feeling.

I'm done. Really. Really? REALLY! I wrote a play. I wrote a WHOLE PLAY! I have wanted to do this for so long. So many times, I would try. It got too hard. I got stuck. It felt wrong, forced, boring... and I would quit. But I'm done. I did it.

15,055 words
110 pages
10 characters
2 Acts
1 story.

And it's mine.

I emailed Susan yesterday to let her know. She sent me some song lead sheets and said she'd look for the rest that I need. I told her not to rush.

Now, I have one more double-check edit to do; and then I want to have some people read it out loud so I can HEAR it and make sure it's right and then it gets printed, bound, and mailed off to Susan for her stamp of approval. They are her songs, it's only fair.

But even if nothing comes of this - even if it only go as far as a Small community theatre, if that far, I wrote it.

These past few weeks I have faced moving out of the home in which I grew up, watching it be sold to people I didn't know and didn't trust; I have dealt with the craziness that is being twenty-eight and too poor to pay my bills AND rent so I still live with my mother; the death of a wonderful teacher and mentor whom I miss daily and is the subject of my next play; financial crises... this play, this piece of writing allowed me to get away. It provided me with a much-needed catharsis. It was a HUGE reminder that I am intelligent and capable of doing awesome things. It was a shining beacon of joy. I'm almost sad I'm done.

But I am so satisfied.

Wow

I am just amazed. I sit here, tired, hot and thirsty... ECSTATIC! Because I am literally almost done.

I have a few transitions to work out, a few scenes to lengthen and another vignette to write out. Then, it all gets typed up and (drum roll, please) I am DONE!

In a matter of days, maybe hours... I will be able to say that I am finished. Granted, I will need to edit. There will be necessary changes, additions, cuts, etc... but I will have written it.

It's amazing. Lately, and I will admit that it could be due to the ridiculous heatwave, I've been feeling a bit down. I'm struggling with money issues and it is getting really tough to hold out hope that I will figure it out, though somehow I always do. But this has been my piece of joy. This piece has been such a wonderful thing. I've spent serious time thinking, writing, listening. I've been listening to the music, listening to the words, letting them inform the piece.

I am so excited. I get to email Susan and tell her that I'm done. DONE! I will have finished something. I will have accomplished something.

uh oh

I looked over Act 2 just now. It's coming along. Scenes are slowly getting checked off. GREAT! I have already input all of the songs. I have more writing to do, of course. But once I'm done - I;m pretty sure that Act 2 will only be 30 pages WITH songs. I find this very funny. Act 1 hovers around 60. I mean, I know that the first act is always longer than the second. All the conflicts and back stories get set up in the first act. That's where we learn who's related; attracted to; in cahoots with; in love with; afraid of; angry at... whom.

IT TAKES TIME, DAMMIT!

Act 2 is where all the ends that came loose in Act 1 get tied up again. Think of it as a child's playroom. There are toys in large Tupperware bins. Blocks; Dolls; Kitchen; dress-up; etc... Now, Tommy two-year-old comes in and, being two years old, dumps ALL the bins out and spreads the mess around the room. But he goes one bin at a time. He dumps out the blocks and plays for a few minutes, gets bored, dumps out the dolls, etc... That's ACT 1.

But now it's nap time and the floor is full of toys. So, he has to clean up. A two year-old's version of clean up is clear a space. So the toys eventually make their way back into bins. Everything looks neat and tidy, even if it isn't. At least everything is put somewhere, in A place, if not it's PROPER place. Now, he can nap peacefully. That is ACT 2. It doesn't matter if dolls are in with blocks and the kitchen things are all in the dress-up bin while the bin specifically MARKED KITCHEN is empty. Sometimes, at the end of a play, someone comes up empty. It doesn't matter, so long as the conflicts that involved them are somehow resolved. Resolution isn't always resolution. Sometimes it's just a matter of someone accepting that they aren't going to be happy. It isn't wonderful for that person, but they usually deserve it - or the audience needs that, so that they can actually come away from it having LEARNED what the writer intended.

But, still. A two year-old is cleaning up REALLY quickly in this play. Hmmm... Cutting stuff out is pretty easy. Adding stuff, when you have all you need? Not so much.

T - 5

Five scenes are all that stand between me and being done with a first draft! I sent Act 1 back out to Kelly today. I can't tell if the edits I did made it better or worse. I think they made it better. But now there might be one or two smaller details that I cut out. Easily fixed.

I had started to doubt the song choices in the beginning - but the edits made them work. I needed to heighten the urgency in some scenes. I think I did that. Fab.

So, now it is on to vignettes.

I almost feel bad though. There are ten people in t his play. But the ones who do most of the talking and all of the singing are the women. The men are there and I think they have a good presence. But these are Midwestern farmers here, they don't talk much and they certainly wouldn't sing.

I'm pretty excited to finish. The house is now occupied by more than just me, so I must be off to somewhere else where I can think.

onward...

figured out so great stuff tonight. SO THRILLED!

Now, I would be happy to figure out a difficult scene anyway. But, as I keep writing, I find more things that make me smile.

This whole process is so circular. First, I write, then I get stuck, then I start to think that the piece is getting away from me, then I get an idea, and it works, then I write, then I get stuck...

WAHOO!

So tonight I sat, thinking "I WILL NEVER GET THIS RIGHT! I WAS INSANE TO THINK I COULD DO THIS! WHY DID I EVER SUGGEST THIS IDEA?"

But then I moved one little piece and it works again. And I am back to being thrilled.

I swear, this play is making me bipolar.

WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN?

I know where this piece is going. I know what happens, I know what is said, who says it... but I don't feel like writing it down.

Am I that much of a pathetic loser that once I figure something out - I don't need to finish it?

"Oh, I know where those last 100 pieces of that 11000-piece puzzle go, no need to put them together, I can already IMAGINE what it looks like completed."

I mean, really?

Fight or Flight...

This isn't REALLY about the play - not really.

I got my Property tax bills today. Yes, I said bills. Apparently, the tax Assessor think I still own the Dodge Neon I sold last year. No big deal. I'm sure I can work that one out. I can easily go to the DMV and call the business that bought the car and get everything sorted out. But the tax on the car I DO own went up. It went up by over $100. I understand that the TAX went up but that's a lot. Don't cars depreciate over time?

I will admit, the bills from last year fell through the cracks. I forgot about them. I am paying them this week. Maybe after I do that the Tax people will be willing to let me pay in installments for the rest. I would hope so.

Now, why am I writing about this on this blog? Well, the main character is partly based on me. I wonder if she's the same way about this. I got those bills and felt sick immediately. It's a learned response. I find I owe money and I feel sick. I hate that. I face bills I can pay and freak out as if I can't.

Would Kate do that? Maybe she did and now she's over it.